Robert De Niro, Jeremy Kyle and UK-USA media reform.

How refreshing to see Robert De Niro turning in a great performance in his advertisement for Warburtons bread or rather bagels. The ad pastiches his Goodfellas role as a mobster and even channels his Casino movie fashions, perhaps even touching on the Eagle Supermarket of The Deer Hunter.

And a lovely flourish of NYC tourism with an I (heart) Bolton mug.

Warburtons becoming not just a master baker but rather UK's master film maker attracting superstars as De Niro to these shores plus Sylvster Stallone and The Muppets.

Surely Al Pacino is next as The Codfather for a Warburtons fish finger sandwich or some cod-Shakespeare malarkey with De Niro fresh from The Irishman movie.

Ads and movie stars a well-trod path for both the advertising and movie businesses - currently Harvey Keitel rather wasted in a clunky pastiche of his Reservoir Dogs role for First Direct Insurance. Ryan Reynolds and Jeremy Renner both helming BT wifi ads.

And by far the best of the lot at the moment, Kevin Bacon with a bravura performance with Britney Spears for several EE mobile phones ads.

Leaving aside the view that the film star outshines the brand in such commercials there is no doubt that say Dudley Moore for Tescos or John Cleese for Sainsburys lends talkability and standout to more workaday brands. Does a Keira Knightley for Chanel perfume have the same kudos?

Japan usually a cash-till for movie stars appearing in ads far from USA and not impinging on their film roles: Harrison Ford of Star Wars selling Kirin Beer and Keanu Reeves Suntory whisky for example. And perhaps the king of them all James Coburn paid $1M for voiceover of two words. Schlitz. Light.

Lost in Translation with Bill Murray a whole movie based on a movie star in Japan for a commercial. He found a distraction in Scarlett Johanssen perhaps De Niro not so lucky in Bolton, or Leeds and Liverpool and Birmingham for his Actors Studio style stage shows.

And therein lies the rub as noted Shakespearean Pacino might emote. Surely UK and USA media reform could uplift the one-off or under the radar blip of such successes.

In my MP and Mayor campaigns I've argued not just for the East Kent Film Office and Studio as a counterweight to West Kent Maidstone centralisation but also reinventing the 1930's studio system for the 21st century.

Few would argue with Hollywood as the centre of the world film industry even against the rising tides of Bollywood and Nollywood and China.

It's astonishing that the UK is still essentially a cottage industry of just three dozen or so movies produced each year.

That in itself is a British failure given the head start of the English language, close ties with the American studios and cluster of studios since the Chaplin and Hitchcock era of Pinewood etc.

Add in though the success of the Japanese and French and Italian film industries without any of those advantages and its a monstrous British disaster.

And add in the outrageous success of the Bond movies and Star Wars now Disney franchises and Harry Potter movies even Lord of the Rings and its a British failure of epic proportions.

I've worked on various movies in marketing James Bond (East Kent's main movie source), Harry Potter and even De Niro in Fokker mode and Ken Russell for my first Cannes awards and always surprised at the lack of grip on maximising UK film and Creative Industries expertise.

Lord David Puttnam of That'll Be The Day and Chariots of Fire and Cambodian Killing Fields with East Kent writer Bruce Robinson. Something of an East Kent tradition with the Bond scriptwriters and Ramsgate as the Cannes of South East England with a mini movie star colony to rival Carmel, of Ramsgate's Brenda Blethyn and Timothy Spall, and new Film Festival.

Puttnam's Lords seat growing colder as the creative links forged beginning to rust and the white hot heat of the Open University film and television boost cools callin gfor MOOC and Eire Atticus growth.

And perhaps therein lies Britain's secret weapon of The Caroline Munro Doctrine.

UK casting off the vestiges of the Empire and last flecks of colonies and Cold War prattle that soak up so much government time. But rather, as it were, embracing not just the Bond Babes but the UK film industry as a whole for Global Britain and UK plc growth..

Britain punches far above its weight than the La Motta of De Niro or Stallone's Balboa from Laurence Olivier to the Connery and Moores and Brosnans and Craigs of 007.

While the back office functions of production and special effects are world-beating with Star Wars and Bond even Kubrick making their home here.

And the array of locations that the Hollywood of Canada or West Kent's Chatham Dockyard simply cannot match.

And there is Britain's second secret weapon to be deployed.

Tom Cruise.

Who else has done more for Britain in Hollywood in recent years with the Mission Impossible movies not just with British actors as Simon Pegg, now active in the Star Trek and Star Wars franchises.

Rumours swirl of Prince William and Harry cameos as stormtroopers.

But with Cruise Control Britain has never looked so alluring whether the Channel Tunnel and Liverpool St tube station of the first movie through to Piccadilly and the Tower Bridge riverfront of the latest movie.

All of which translate into Eurodollars and jobs and future skills onto the bottom line of UK plc.

Surely its right for The Cruiser to hear the words Arise Sir Thomas of Mapother IV for services to the British film industry and tourism industry?

The Royals not averse to handing out gongs with a headscratching insouciance: Tom Hardy as a CBE for a handful of popcorn films? Floella Benjamin a Lord from PlayAway?

Surely,as with Sir Thomas, there should be a lightsaber-like precision to how Global Britain is promoted and recognised.

I wouldn't describe myself as a Royalist: they seem quite nice and half a dozen senior hereditary roles no vast problem once the 92 hereditary Lords are cancelled - the pensioners club stalling under Fowler reforms. Over 75 and 20 years surely a no brainer for the basis of a cull. And Lord Archer as Lord Grabiner blatant corruption on the red benches.

And the honours system is already in the hands of Parliament except for half a dozen awards (a badge for the Duchess of Sussex on her birthday?) in the sole gift of the Queen. That too likely to change under Prince Charles guidance with tweaks such as Commonwealth replacing Empire in medals.

Such honours though not lightly to be traded - after the efforts of lollipop ladies over the years or Red Cross volunteers - for mere brace-twanging vanity.

As with the Royal visit to Cuba, there are ways and means for the Royals to deal with diplomatic and trade problems and help keep or put a UK foot in the door.

That Caroline Munro Doctrine perhaps all the more visible with POTUS Trump regime efforts for 18 Caribbean nations, and Africa trade with Ivanka and no doubt A Very Special relationship coordinated by Ambo Woody beyond mere softsoap and warm words that butter no parsnips or bagels for A Very Special Relationship in UK and Hollywood as well as the crunchy Pacific Resilience Group beyond the showbiz stardust.

Kent with its tarmac and tickytacky housing developments culture and County Barn corruption on Infratil, has made no overtures to the excellent Viriginia sister state Film office. While the lavish UK Film Offices in LA and San Diego are equally quiet on both slating new UK movies and pulling in USA and UK locations.

Few would argue for Sir Bob of De Niro on the basis of a bagels ad and his own stage show. But many would cheer to the rafters for say a BBC series of Actors Studio talks from the mook himself. Perhaps The Mooch lending VC support to mook movies.

Perhaps even his buddies Martin Scorcese a fan of East Kent in tbe Powell-Pressburger A Canterbury Tale, Leonardo Di Caprio or UK ronin as Sean Bean and feather man Jason Statham. A Sir Alan of Pacino would be the cream on the bagel for UK-USA media growth.

And why not a BBC and Netflix or PBS joint venture on say Hollywood in the 1970's, the greatest film era? Or Italian-American New York? Kent's Puerto Rican spitfire Congresswoman AOC might want to urge on a guide to Puerto Rican New York or cinema or a sequel to her movie?

Buckingham palace would no doubt get out the movie projector for a series of shows on Cuba and even The Commonwealth. Surely peak Money Tennis with Joanna Lumley on a train around the Commonwealth?

With a Netflix deal under his arm former POTUS Obama might well steer away from rather syrupy biopics of he and Michelle and put UK and USA at the front of the movie queue for a series of different shows. Especially with Chicago introducing a Netflix tax and UK calls for High St taxes on the online giants.

A series on Presidential libraries seems a shoo-in, perhaps even a rerun of Bear Grylls shows and certainly the almost bottomless well of not just The Kennedys but the real Camelot of Civil Rights. Virginia's Charlotteville surely an initial treatment already tp go in former Governor McAuliffe's new book?

And beyond the sterling efforts of Sir Thomas of Mapother few would want to neglect Steven Spielberg as American suburban clay is shook off for the mud and blood of Saving Private Ryan and not just the Eire opening beach scenes of Omaha but the creation of a whole new UK studio at Leavesden.

With he and Tom Hanks on their way to UK with POTUS Trump for the D-Day 75 landings commemoration it's perhaps astonishing how few remembrances there are of Britain and Canada's meaty roles. Liberation Route Europe with Visit Kent and Operation Fortitude and Portsmouth's DDay museum about all.

Britain struggling as with Kwai railway to even commemorate the British beaches without Peter Rickett's efforts.

USA not just taking the British invention of cinema with Leeds Bridge in 1888 but also taking Britain's invention of the museum and CWG and perfecting it whether DDayMuseum in New Orleans and Virginia or Smithsonian.

Dark days for the British Creative Industries.

And darker still with the suicide of not just the Jeremy Kyle show guest but East Kent Margate's Mike Thalassitis Love Island suicide: one of 40 reality show suicides worldwide.

If Lord Puttnam is too polite to pull the seat away from Floella Benjamin or Lords Archer and Grabiner surely he should be banging the table upstairs with Kent's dynamic Damian Collins of the media committee downstairs on UK and USA media reforms.

I'm no Mary Whitehouse but disgusting slop such as the Kyle Show and even Love Island and certainly Naked Attraction with naked contestants comparing each other's genitals along with the cod-psychology of Kyle before going on a date, shouldn't be served up to the primetime viewing public whether the licence fee is cancelled or not.

It's hard to see it as other than the end of days for once great British broadcasting - not just the impartiality of the BBC but fizz of Channel Four and vibrancy of regional broadcasting with World in Action etc.

Britain has slumped into the stripping Italian housewives, or Japanese violent gameshows and topless weather forecasts that a Clive James or Chris Tarrant would mock mercilessly often with the unspoken line that it couldn't happen here.

Yet it has.

The worst excesses of a Jerry Springer freak show are now normalised and certainly Messrs Puttnam and Collins, beyond reviewing some of the more frivolous election tampering claims of Facebook or Huawei spyware, should be considering 15 points for vigorous broadcast reform:

1. Licence fee cancelled for tax ring fence: end the absurd imprisonment of pensioners and diversion of funds from programming into tax collection

2. UK-specific content quotas in film and television as France. Sir Thomas or Spielberg may not like it initially but would certainly consider putting UK higher in their location and funding lists. Mission Impossible Scotland next?

3. Repeats quotas. Lazy and cheap programming routinely criticised in every parliament review but the broadcasters treating Collins and Puttnam in Parliament with contempt. That last point surely overdue in questioning pubic servants etc refusing to appear before parliament. 3 months in jail? 6 months? As the highest court in the land Parliament could issue the warrant or instruct the Supreme Court to type it up. The High Court holed below the waterline with Russian court cases and corruption judges as Mann etc.

4. BBC3 refloated. Again every piece of research suggesting it was excellent and popular as a new Channel 4 yet closed into a strange web version.

5. 24 hours broadcasting. Repeats aside it is absurd to have channels barely on air eg BBC4 from 7pm for just 6 hours or so.

6. Plus1 time shift broadcasting: as the previous point but staggered viewing eg C5+1 etc.

7. Maximisation of Freeview: a desert of empty channels that the riproaring success of Talking Pictures TV (and Turner Channel before that) for old black and white movies shows a pubic appetite for interesting content well-promoted.

8. Reviews of cheap and cheerful shows: a nasty rash of reality cop shows, Police Interceptors and Operation Hanoi antics aside, is junk telly not an inquiry into police practices. As is Cash in the Attic jumble sale junk telly. And perhaps Kyle is so popular (1M viewers?) due to heavy rotation through the day. Perhaps a live hanging of Kyle and his producer would draw in similar audiences and end such feral shows?

9. Film Offices: EKFOS East Kent Film Office again - too much regional content cheated via brief news broadcasts. A reporter in the rain outside the closed council offices to read out the council press release? Or Kent BBC with "today the news from Brighton..."
isn't journalism.

10. The skateboarding duck has taken over much of television news - perhaps the nadir this week with BBC news broadcasting a Colorado window cleaner stuck on a skyscraper. From the newsreaders phone. And journalists interviewing journalists about unknown sources or the newspaper headlines. Mere saloon bar opinions on the rates.

11. Film locations? Even film festivals - France from Cannes to Deauville old masters at the art of promoting film.

(to be continued)

Time for Change
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